


Is it the end of the line?

by MVHiddleston00



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Minor Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 03:52:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18886630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVHiddleston00/pseuds/MVHiddleston00
Summary: Bucky writes a letter that he knows Steve will never read.





	Is it the end of the line?

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing a fic to try and fix the whole situation (and myself) after the movie, but all I managed to do was drown myself in tears, seeing things from Bucky's POV.  
> I will try to write another one, more of a fix-it, at some point.

Punk,  
  
I’m only writing this letter because of Peter (the spider-boy) and Shuri (the genius-princess). They haven’t stopped pestering me about getting some closure. So, here you go.  
  
You really did it, didn’t you? You gave her the dance you had promised, you gave her so much more. You loved her, she loved you, and she told you. I think this is where I went wrong, baby.  
  
She’s not the only one who’s ever loved you, darling, and I regret not telling you when I could. I doubt it would have made any difference, though. Had I told you, had you known, would you have stayed? Or did you know, and you simply didn’t care enough to gently let me down before leaving? No, that’s not you. Or maybe it is, I don’t know anymore, maybe that’s the new you. ‘Cause, ya know, the Steve I grew up with wouldn’t leave, not till ‘the end of the line’. Do these words remind you of anything, darling, or have you conveniently forgotten we’d exchanged them? Or was it truly the end of the line? I don’t think it was. At least, it wouldn’t be if you hadn’t decided it was.  
  
While I was under, you know, the only thing I could think about was you. Not a minute would go by without you crossing my mind, without me cursing myself for dying without ever telling you how much I love you. I don’t know if anyone could love you as much as I do. Not even her. I don’t even know if you love her as much as I do you. It doesn’t matter, though. You’re all that matters, you’ve always been, and it would be so, so selfish of me to try to keep you here. You wouldn’t be happy, would you?  
  
I actually think I am the most selfish person in the world. I haven’t stopped thinking how it would be had you still been here, even if it was with her, or with anyone else. At this point, even that would be better than where you are right now. Hell, even me being dead would be better than this hole I feel in my chest without you, Stevie.  
  
I really shouldn’t write a lot, I’m getting the paper all soaked and the words all smeared. I’m really pathetic. I just needed to say this stuff, ya know? Even though you’ll never read it.  
  
I don’t know, Steve, perhaps there is another line for us, another line we’ll have to cross, where you will be with me till the end of it. For now, though, I’ll always be grateful to have known you, and to have someone to care about me so much, even if it wasn’t the way I wanted you to care. So, I might not be with you, but I will dream of you whenever I close my eyes, I will cry for you whenever I remember any of the stupid shit you’ve said, and I will love you till the end of this line and every line there is. And I will pray for you to never feel pain again, not for me, not for her, not for anyone, because this is the only thing I ask from you. To always be happy.  
  
Your jerk,  
Bucky


End file.
